POV: Dreams and Memories (VI)

It took her a few moments to realize where she was, as she reopened her eyes and stretched her aching back. But then the annoying blare of the emergency klaxon made her realized. The Blastboat has slammed into the Factory Station upon destruction of it’s port stabilizer, further damaging vital equipment. Then the explosion of the Factory had rocked her boat and shaken Sandra around as if she was a bug in a coke can that served as a child’s makeshift football. At that point she had blacked out as the artificial gravity generators had been unable to neutralize the G-forces that had washed over the Skipray Blastboat in the wake of the exploding station. She didn’t know how long she had been out, but in a battle like this a mere second could be just too long. She reached for the stick and the throttle and moved both slowly to see if there was any response. With relieve she noticed that there was, even though that it took her quite some time to stop the wild and sickening rotations along the horizontal axis. She main system monitors was out and two of the secondary MFD’s showed just a shower of static, so she switched to yet another screen to take a glance at the damage report. A lot of vital systems showed up yellow, including sublight drive and steering. All weapons systems safe one Ion cannon were destroyed and two thirds of her shield generators, including all aft ones were burned out or inoperable. But the single most important system for her now was shown in bright, promising and relieving green. "Computer, initiate hyperjump sequence. Pre-heat coils and jump when ready."

Only then did she glance around at the raging battle and the leashing out green energy bundles that came from everywhere and converged at two different areas in space told her that the two A-Wings were still around. The question was for how much longer. At that moment her com came to life and she heard Michael’s voice.

She cleared her throat and then keyed her mike, noticing from the corner of her bright blue eyes that her ship would jump in only a few seconds.

"I’m sorry, Michael. I had no choice than to lure you into this trap.", she whispered and released the button, only to press it again. But before she could speak the hyperdrive kicked in and carried her away. Not that it did matter anyway, because one of the molten shield generators had melted the radio’s antenna cable, rendering her communications set unusable and depriving Michael of the only honest and sincere apology she had ever given to him.

Michael noticed a movement at the outer edge of the debris field that once had been the Factory station and with a big sense of relieve he saw the mangled shape of the Blastboat picking up speed and initiating a jump. He keyed his navigation computer to check the Skipray’s course and was even more relieved that it was jumping towards the coordinates they had agreed upon. A stream of green laser bolts soared past his canopy from behind and without thinking Michael rolled to the left and pulled hard on his stick.

"Oh, it’s you again!", me mumbled, as he noticed the Wing Leaders TIE Advanced, only half a klick behind him. "Dario! Make your jump as you see fit, I’ll clean house and follow you ASAP!"

"Muy Bien!" , the pilot from Iberya mumbled and tried to bring as much distance between himself and the approaching Interceptors. He was more than glad that he had refused to let them lure him into a close engagement, because it would have been all the more difficult to get far enough away that he could afford to hang helplessly in space while the hyperdrive warmed up.

Meanwhile Lieutenant Dahlgren tried to make another pass on the A-Wing and again the Rebel pilot frustrated him by literally side-stepping any shot that he fired at the Rebel fighter.

"Theta flight, vector in on my target!", he called over the guard frequency and made sure that the closest quad of TIE Interceptors didn’t waste their time with firing at the other A-Wing, which was just about to make it’s hyperjump and too far away for them to prevent it from escape.

Again he aligned his TIE Advanced and as soon as the targeting computer flashed green, he pressed his trigger, only to see the Rebel fighter perform another set of evasive actions, that looked vaguely familiar.

"Gods of Absalom, I’ve got enough!", he cursed, only to realize that he had still keyed his mike.

Vyper heard the very familiar curse that the Executive Officer of his Imperial Training Squadron so often had made use of. With a smile on his lips Michael opened a channel to the TIE Advanced, now that he knew that he was also sending on the Guard channel.

Dahlgren hesitated and it took him an eyeblink until he had noticed that it was the Rebel pilot who was speaking to him.

Michael noticed that his opportunity had come and as soon as he saw Dario’s A-Wing picking up speed and jumping to safety, he flipped a couple of switched on his console.

"Who the hell are you?", Dahlgren asked astonished, not noticing that the A-Wing was picking up speed at an incredible rate and that it’s shield and weapon status were faltering, as it’s pilot had transferred all energy to his engines.

Michael chuckled as he reached out to pull the hyperdrive lever: "Your worst nightmare. Sleep well, until we meet again!"

Then the stars jumped right into his face and past his canopy, as the A-Wing passed the border between hyperspace and the dimensions beyond. Leaving behind only debris, wreckage and an confused enemy. Safely concluding what had seemed like an impossible mission without the chance of survival.

But still ... Michael realized that this mission had not come without casualties and that something very, very dear to him had died in this very battle, that now lay behind him.

The landing pad outside Elysia’s little space port was deserted at this nightly time and he was more than glad about that. This little backwater planet offered not much in respect to night life and amusement, but it had the facilities to repair the mangled and damaged fighters, which was why they had chosen it as the third leg of their escape route. The tarmac below his feet had still stored a vast complement of the daily heat and slowly gave it away, warming the chilly night that surrounded him. Vyper stepped around the humming and cracking hull of a freighter and as soon as he had cleared the bulky space ship he looked up to enjoy the beautiful sky above him. It reminded him a lot of Tarada VI, yet it was different and had it’s own quality and marvel. Maybe it wasn’t the sky that was so different, but the times that had changed. Back then on Tarada VI he had almost ended his live out of the desperation that an unfavorable situation had forced him into. By now the situation wasn’t much different, but there was this silver streak at the horizon that gave him hope. Even without this streak of silver he knew that there was no easy way out and after all, by now he was a different person than back then. But so was she and it had been her that had lured them into this trap and then helped them out. Michael still didn’t have the whole picture, but he suspected that what Sandra had told him after touchdown was only what she wanted to tell him and Dario. But he had seen her eyes, seen something very familiar in it and that made him only stronger in his believes in her, more sincere in his feelings and with a lasting, powerful confidence that this could not be the end of all. But it also left him with an awareness of his own shortcomings. Thinking of that he gave in to one of those shortcomings and took the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and slowly lit one of them, inhaling deeply.

Michael didn’t know why he had come outside, but leaving the building had felt naturally for him, like if it was the right thing at the right time. As he had done so many other things at the spur of the moment and without reason, but following the voice of his heart. And by now this voice told him that he was not alone, as he had never been before and recognizing her made his heart jump once again, as it always did in her presence.

Slowly he walked over to the slender figure who stood at the edge of the tarmac. Her hands behind her back and looking up into the sky as if in deep thought. When Michael reached her, she nodded in approval and both just stood there, enjoying each others company without the need to exchange words. Standing apart from her Michael felt a closeness to this wonderful woman, that he could not express in words anyway, because words were too limited and would have taken a lot away from this beautiful moment.

Thoughts about the Cathedral on Tarada VI came to his mind and how his worries and his desperation had consumed him back then and he started to chuckle.

Sandra turned her head and gave him a curious smile. "What are you laughing about?"

"On a lot of nights like this I have been thinking of you.", Michael said softly. "I looked up into a sky like this and reached out for you, wishing you’d be as close to me as you are right now. Maybe even closer."

"I thought you were gone forever and so I went on a quest to find you. It took me across the universe and back, but instead of finding you I found myself. When that happened, I found something else, which I had thought it would be unreachable for all time and maybe even beyond eternity. Something which I hold very dear and that I love more than my live. And to my surprise it has always been there, right under my nose."

Michael saw that Sandra had lowered her head while he had been speaking to the stars, but now, as his eyes searched for hers, she looked up and parted her lips with a wry smile.

Michael exhaled deeply and let a cloud of blue smoke out, before he turned to face her. He looked her deeply into her sparkling blue eyes and said with a soft tone in his voice: "No. And I stopped looking long time ago, because I have found all that I have ever been looking for."

"You know this saying.", she said and blinked reluctantly before she turned her head to look up to the sky. "When you stop looking someone will find you."

Vyper smiled and looked at the lit tip of his cigarette, before he threw it away. While putting his hands in his pockets he looked at her and replied: "Who knows? Isn’t that already the case?"

Sandra didn’t say anything for a yet another long moment and just kept staring at a particular bright start up in the sky. Michael looked at her profile and admired her fabulous beauty, not wanting this moment to end, because he knew whatever she was going to say would be another important turning point in both of their life’s. And maybe he wouldn’t like what she’d say. He felt her reluctance and the struggle within her and he also knew that whatever she was going to say would be the open and honest truth, but also softened up to some degree or another, because she didn’t want to hurt him. But then again, how often had she hurt him before and how often would she do it all over again?

Then he also looked up to the sky and tried to find the star that she was looking at. "Someone is waiting for you up there?", Michael asked.

She remained silent, but from the corner of his eyes he could see her nodding slowly. Michael let go a deep breath and withdrew his right hand slowly from his pocket. He walked closer to her and stood behind her back, outstretching his right arm he pointed over her shoulder and up into the star-spangled sky. "Over there, below the Katana-Nebula and to the left of PRS-420. Do you see this star?"

Sandra nodded and turned half around to glanced at him with a recognizing smile. "Yes, I see it. And I remember it very well. I miss the closeness we had back then and I miss our friendship."

Vyper looked her into her wonderful, sparkling eyes and saw a tear rolling down on her face. With his still outstretched hand he gently he wiped it away with his thumb, feeling the softness of her skin once again under his touch. He suppressed the urge to take her into his arms and if she had given him any encouragement, then who knows what would have happened? But this chance passed, as others had gone by, long ago.

"I often look up at this star, especially at nights like this. Sometimes I looked up with despair, sometimes with burning desire and sometimes with a deep sense of hopelessness. In all those years only a few factors remained unchanged and those are my deep, sincere feelings towards you. I’m not building up any expectations and the only thing I ask you for, is that you just be yourself. I waited an eternity to see you again and who knows what future has in stock? A month, a year or a decade - to me it doesn’t matter."

For a long while Sandra returned his glance in silence, unable or unwilling to say anything in return. Then she took his hand away from her face. At first it looked like she wanted to let his hand go, but then she gave it soft squeeze and kept holding it in her slender, but strong fingers. Her voice was very soft and even a trace of sweetness covered the words that drove a cold steely knife into Vyper’s heart.

"My shuttle is waiting and Alliance High Command wants do debrief me as soon as possible. A lot of things have happened and a lot of things have changed.", she said and shifted from one foot to another and breaking eye contact for a moment.

Michael nodded slowly. "Some things change, while some don’t, even get better with time and distance."

Sandra let go a deep breath and then said: "But some don’t, Michael." She then looked up and into his eyes. For the first time Michael realized an icy cold in those eyes, that usually had shown so much warmth and caring. "Don’t wait for me, you’d waste your time."

For Michael it was as if the world had stopped rotating and as if the entire universe collapsed onto him. Through moist eyes he looked at her beautiful face and saw the answer that had been there all the time and it shattered him even more than her words, which were still ringing in his ears. He swallowed hard and slowly took his hand out of hers. With almost betraying voice he did his best to say: "You know that I’m not good at saying ‘good bye’, so all I say this time is: Until we meet again, my ... friend."

Sandra hesitated for a moment, but then she gave him a firm hug and slowly walked away into the darkness. Vyper’s eyes followed her for a long while. There was still this afterglow of the brief sensation of her slender and soft body pressed against his own and the lingering trace of her perfume in his nose, her slender fingers in his hands ... but there was also the look in her eyes and softly spoken words that – without intention - bore the cruelty and madness of the entire universe in it. Michael drew in a sharp breath and wiped his hands over his eyes. A very big sense of sadness overcame him, filled his eyes with even more tears and filled his throat with pain. But with clenching teeth he refused to give in to it.

With shaking hands he took another cigarette from his breast pocket and slowly lit it. He drew on it, deeply in thoughts and almost jumped when he heard a familiar voice from behind.

"Our A-Wings are rearmed and maintenance has been completed. So what are we going to do next?", Dario said.

Michael turned around to meet him and he could see that Dario glanced to the spot where Sandra had been only a brief moment of time ago. He didn’t know how much his friend had picked up and how long he had been around, but Michael also felt glad that Dario was here at this moment to shake him awake from this dream that had turned into a nightmare.

With hurting throat and shaken voice he said to his wingman and friend: "We do what we always do. Face the worst that life can throw at us - and survive. Because we have no choice and there is no other option.", he said and knowingly padded the grip of his FE-MEK45 which rested in it’s holder on his right hip. "There is no easy way out and we can’t always win without giving up something which means the world to us. Sometimes all we gain in life is a hollow victory and Dreams and Memories of what was and what could have been."

Then Michael chuckled and added: "Speaking of Memories! As far as I remember there’s a very impatient person aboard the Joan d’Arc who awaits our return."

Dario’s face turned into a sour expression, but then he chuckled. "Yeah, I guess you’re right. And I’m not looking forward to what she has to say. That will take even more away from the victory we gained over here, don’t you think? That’ll leave us with less reasons for dreams and memories, at least the pleasant ones."

Michael’s face lit up with the hint trace of a smile and he threw one arm around the shoulder of his friend. Together they started walking towards their waiting A-Wings. "Ah, I don’t know, dear Dario. We should always keep in mind that life is a constant, ongoing struggle and that the only lasting victory is the final defeat itself. And until then a lot of things can happen, don’t you think?"

If you would like to have one or more of your own stories featured on the White Squadron webpage, please feel free to send your request or story to Shok'wave and she would be honored to discuss the matter with you further.